What? How? Why?

A typical testimony meeting at church consists of people going off about experiences where they "knew" what to do because of some crazy experience. Growing up I always struggled with that and wondered why I never had those crazy experiences. It had always been somewhat difficult receiving my own answers. As years have passed and I've experienced so much more in life, I now better understand how I can receive my own answers, and that the chance of that way being a crazy experience, is very slim. But, there's something powerful in this method rather than a more "powerful" method. First, I believe the Lord has a lot of trust in people whom he lets decide between good things. I also feel blessed that he lets me struggle to find answers. That might sound contradictory, but struggling for an answer helps me feel that much more confident in my decision when I am able to make it.
One decision I really struggled with this past year, was what I was going to major in. Cliche. Yes. But real. In high school I was always in some sports season so I saw our athletic trainer a lot. For injuries and such. One day, I realized that her job was perfect. She gets to work medical, sports and occasionally outside. Nothing better right? Right. So I came to BYU, after taking AT classes in high school, declared as an AT major. I started taking the prerequisites, and the only thing people outside of my classes could tell me was how bad of an idea majoring in AT was. "The pay sucks. The hours are horrible. You're basically a janitor. The program is horrible. You can't be a mom and an AT. You won't ever get married because you're too busy with clinicals." I got so convinced that I shouldn't do athletic training anymore that I completely switched my plans on a whim, took nursing prereqs over a spring semester (bad idea) and the next fall semester. Those classes included some that definitely smashed my GPA. Once I submitted my application, I got super anxious. And not because I wanted to be in the program, but because I had started asking myself "what if I actually happen to get in??". That's when I realized I hadn't trusted in the Lord, but feared man and society's idea of the "perfect mom job" more than God.
The questions I always find myself asking are What? How? Why?. Why does the Lord not answer me right away? Why does he let me take all these extra classes, hurting my GPA and bank account, for them to end up being pointless? What does he want me to actually do? How does he want me to go about things?
In Moses 5:5-6, it talks about Adam having to offer up a lamb to sacrifice. It says that an angel of the Lord appeared to Adam, asking him why he was offering sacrifices unto the Lord and Adam replied that he didn't know. But that the Lord commanded it, and that's all he needed to act. Like Adam, we often don't know why we have to do things. We don't always need to logically understand why the Lord has us struggle through unneeded classes rather than just give a "vision" and bam, we suddenly know what to do.
I didn't get accepted into the nursing program. And that's the biggest blessing of all. I'm now in my 2nd semester in the AT program and I love it. I've never really been so passionate about something like I am this. Yeah, the pay can suck. Yeah, the hours can be horrible. Yes, I still hear from many people how bad my decision is. But I'd much rather be happy and not wealthy, doing something I love than rich and dreading work everyday. The Lord didn't answer me right away when I was trying to decide between nursing and AT. The answers didn't come until I submitted my nursing application and suddenly felt so much doubt. The Lord let me work this out so that when bigger decisions face me, I have the experience of finding for myself what to be true. The happiness that this struggle has brought me is worth more than more money and a 9-5 job later in life. For that, I thank my Savior.

Because the Lord loves us, I know that he lets us struggle for answers. Don't be discouraged. "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" -Psalm 27:1

Our God is Not a Passive God.

This week I was able to attend sessions at the Provo and Payson temples. The peace and understanding that I continuously gain there is what keeps me going back. Every time I leave the temple, I feel buoyed up with the love of my Savior. The temple is centered around the creation of the earth and man. If you ask someone on the streets (outside of Provo/Utah County) about the creation, you will most likely hear something about evolution and how we evolved from chimps. The church has no official position on the theory of evolution. The study of organic evolution is a matter of scientific study. Nothing has been revealed concerning evolution. (D&C 101:32-In that day when the Lord shall come, he shall reveal all things).
If this is the case, how are we to know what to think about the creation of the earth and human life? Personally, the greatest quote in my religion class this week was, "God isn't a passive God when it comes to creating. He wouldn't sit back and just hope one of the planets succeeded". From this quote, I understand that our God is a creating God with a plan for us as human beings on earth. The earth wasn't created with a simple spell from Harry Potter's wand. It didn't just appear in space, but the Lord created it for us, with a specific design and plan. Genesis 2:4 talks about the Lord God making "the earth and the heavens", while Alma 18:28 also talks about the "Great Spirit, who is God, created all things which are in heaven and in the earth". It's so cool to me that both the Bible and the Book of Mormon talk about God being the creator of the earth. It only makes sense that he created our earth. If we don't understand the creation, we don't understand the fall. If we don't understand the fall, we don't understand the atonement. If we don't understand the atonement, we don't understand the eternal plan. The temple has helped me understand the creation on such a deeper level. It's so comforting to know that by increasing my knowledge on the creation, I am continuing a deeper level of learning, far beyond just the creation.
"So how can we find truth? I believe that our Father in Heaven is pleased with his children when they use their talents and mental faculties to earnestly discover truth. Over the centuries many wise men and women-through logic, reason, scientific inquiry, and, yes, through inspiration-have discovered truth. These discoveries have enriched mankind, improved our lives, and inspired joy, wonder, and awe. Even so, the things we once thought we knew are continually being enhanced, modified, or even contradicted by enterprising scholars who seek to understand truth" -President Uchtdorf.

Who Am I?

(For an assignment in my religion class, we are to keep a blog...here goes!)

     Last semester was ridiculously crazy. This semester, my 7th at BYU-wow, will also be ridiculously crazy. That's what happens when you start finding more things that you're passionate about. You can't give any of them up. Because of last year's crazy schedule and class problems, I wasn't able to take a religion class. I didn't realize how much that impacted me until I sat in my current religion class for the first time this week. We started singing the opening hymn, and then immediately broke open the scriptures and started learning. The gospel is amazing. The spirit is amazing. Put both together and wow.
    Who am I is such a relevant question in the world today as so many expectations and opinions are thrown at us. In class, we learned about how special we are. In Moses 1:4, 6, 7-Moses is called "my son" by Christ through divine investiture. If we are God's sons and daughters, what is our potential? The more we ask what our purpose on this earth is, the more we will find that purpose. The Lord wants to help us understand who we are, we must allow him to. In Moses 7:36, God says, "I can stretch forth mine hands and hold all the creations which I have made". If he can hold all of creations, which equal to more than we can ever comprehend, in just his hands, then why did he place me on this earth? On the earth that he sent his Only Begotten Son to die. Why did he come to the same earth that I get to be on? Breathing the same air that my Savior breathed. The final answer is not one that I yet understand, but I know that as I attend the temple and continuously ask in prayer, I will come to understand my purpose.
    This scripture has come to mean a lot to me through experiences and study in this class. The Lord can stretch forth his hands and hold us all. Yet he chooses to hold us all in his heart. The fact that the God and Savior of the universe love us enough to allow us to experience difficulties in life on this earth, this chosen earth, shows how much they believe in us. The principle of everlasting love and trust shown towards us from God, should make us know who we are. We are his sons and daughters with eternal potential.
    While living in Africa this summer, I had a question similar to "why am I here". Why do I get to live in America and truly have everything I could need to be happy while some of the Ghanaians don't even have houses or food. The amazing thing I found, was that despite the lack of physical possessions, the Ghanaians were happy. Mosiah 2:41 explains that as long as people keep the commandments, they will be blessed in all things, "both temporal and spiritual". If the key to happiness is keeping the commandments, which we know came from God, the very God that sent his son to the same earth that we were chosen to be on, how can we refuse to keep his commandments?

    Although life and all that comes with it can be difficult, having the knowledge that the Lord loves us and has a divine purpose for us, we can move forward in humility and faith, striving to do what the Lord has planned for us on the earth.