What? How? Why?

A typical testimony meeting at church consists of people going off about experiences where they "knew" what to do because of some crazy experience. Growing up I always struggled with that and wondered why I never had those crazy experiences. It had always been somewhat difficult receiving my own answers. As years have passed and I've experienced so much more in life, I now better understand how I can receive my own answers, and that the chance of that way being a crazy experience, is very slim. But, there's something powerful in this method rather than a more "powerful" method. First, I believe the Lord has a lot of trust in people whom he lets decide between good things. I also feel blessed that he lets me struggle to find answers. That might sound contradictory, but struggling for an answer helps me feel that much more confident in my decision when I am able to make it.
One decision I really struggled with this past year, was what I was going to major in. Cliche. Yes. But real. In high school I was always in some sports season so I saw our athletic trainer a lot. For injuries and such. One day, I realized that her job was perfect. She gets to work medical, sports and occasionally outside. Nothing better right? Right. So I came to BYU, after taking AT classes in high school, declared as an AT major. I started taking the prerequisites, and the only thing people outside of my classes could tell me was how bad of an idea majoring in AT was. "The pay sucks. The hours are horrible. You're basically a janitor. The program is horrible. You can't be a mom and an AT. You won't ever get married because you're too busy with clinicals." I got so convinced that I shouldn't do athletic training anymore that I completely switched my plans on a whim, took nursing prereqs over a spring semester (bad idea) and the next fall semester. Those classes included some that definitely smashed my GPA. Once I submitted my application, I got super anxious. And not because I wanted to be in the program, but because I had started asking myself "what if I actually happen to get in??". That's when I realized I hadn't trusted in the Lord, but feared man and society's idea of the "perfect mom job" more than God.
The questions I always find myself asking are What? How? Why?. Why does the Lord not answer me right away? Why does he let me take all these extra classes, hurting my GPA and bank account, for them to end up being pointless? What does he want me to actually do? How does he want me to go about things?
In Moses 5:5-6, it talks about Adam having to offer up a lamb to sacrifice. It says that an angel of the Lord appeared to Adam, asking him why he was offering sacrifices unto the Lord and Adam replied that he didn't know. But that the Lord commanded it, and that's all he needed to act. Like Adam, we often don't know why we have to do things. We don't always need to logically understand why the Lord has us struggle through unneeded classes rather than just give a "vision" and bam, we suddenly know what to do.
I didn't get accepted into the nursing program. And that's the biggest blessing of all. I'm now in my 2nd semester in the AT program and I love it. I've never really been so passionate about something like I am this. Yeah, the pay can suck. Yeah, the hours can be horrible. Yes, I still hear from many people how bad my decision is. But I'd much rather be happy and not wealthy, doing something I love than rich and dreading work everyday. The Lord didn't answer me right away when I was trying to decide between nursing and AT. The answers didn't come until I submitted my nursing application and suddenly felt so much doubt. The Lord let me work this out so that when bigger decisions face me, I have the experience of finding for myself what to be true. The happiness that this struggle has brought me is worth more than more money and a 9-5 job later in life. For that, I thank my Savior.

Because the Lord loves us, I know that he lets us struggle for answers. Don't be discouraged. "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" -Psalm 27:1