Baby T

This week was a little bit crazy! Thursday night I got a bunch of texts from my brother saying his baby was really sick. I was confused because he had been well just the day before. Even more surprising was the text saying they were waiting on an ambulance, which was then followed by an even worse text saying they were waiting for the helicopter to life flight him to a bigger hospital about an hour away. As all of this was going down, I could only think of baby T and his big smile and the love he gives so freely to everyone. I was able to go the next day and sit with him in the hospital. As I sat and watched machines breathe for him, I reflected on the little things in life. I thought about how lucky we are to have bodies. They aren't always healthy but we're so lucky to have the chance to be on earth. I also thought of how much we take people for granted. Because baby T was on a ventilator and sedated, he was completely out. It was hard to watch my nephew seem almost lifeless, even though he was being taken care of properly. It helped me remember how much I love the people in my life and how fragile life is. As I continued to watch my nephew, I thought about my love for him as an aunt, which is so much less than the love his parents have for him, which is less than the love Heavenly Father has for him. That's a crazy thought to process. 2 Nephi 26:24 reminds us that "he loveth the world" so much so, that "he layeth down his own life that he may draw all men unto him". We truly are so lucky to be loved by a God who knows us better than we know ourselves. He gave everything for us. With this knowledge, we can move through tough times knowing that he will never leave us. How could we ever turn our backs on him who freely loves us all?

Who Do You Rely On?

     Life is great. Why is this? It's because my Savior allows me to take baby steps. He's willing to walk with me even if it is slow and simple steps. Because the Savior loves us, he doesn't matter how quickly we move as long as we are moving towards progression. D&C 78:18 says that we can't have all things now, but that as we continue to be happy and move forward, the Lord will eventually reveal all things to us. As I've talked with people, I am continuously reminded how blessed I truly am. The Lord gives us so much. A few things I've realized within the last few weeks are: the Lord gives more to those he trusts, how much I truly rely on my Savior and how much of a choice being happy is.
     There are a lot of people close to me who struggle so much. From the outside, it isn't obvious, but once talking with them, it's obvious the heartache and struggle they hold within their hearts. The biggest thing I've learned from this is that the Lord gives us trials sincerely because he knows we can handle them. In the midst of struggle, I too know that it is easy to forget this and forget to recognize his hand in our trials, yet he will never leave us. Alma 36:3 can remind us of this as it says, "I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day". For those of you struggling, turn to the Lord. He knows all of our struggles and simply wants us to learn from them. Wants us to learn to work hard and learn to rely on him.
     As I've realized how much I rely on the Lord, I've come to know that there's no way I could do what I'm expected to without his help. Knowing that there's a power greater than my own gives me comfort to move on in time of doubt. It pushes me take baby steps knowing that he will be there to catch me when I need it. 1 Nephi 10:6 explains that unless we "rely on this Redeemer", we will be "in a lost and fallen state, and ever would be". Because of Christ, I can move forward with faith knowing that he will help me when I fall, and that through him I don't have to be lost.
     Depending on how we decide to react to trials, life can be very difficult or a humbling ride. I know that as we strive to be happy amidst life's challenges, the Lord will help us to find the good in all things. He doesn't want us to suffer. He allows us to struggle, because he knows we can make it through. He won't ever allow us to go through something that we can't bare. He helps us as we individually need it. He judges us by what he's given us, not by everyone else and what they're doing. He knows us better than anyone else-let yourself also come to know him. As we turn to him, he will lift us and help us become happy. Through him, we can be happy no matter life's challenges.

Continuously Learning

It's interesting how you can learn the most about life when you least expect it. This week I had a lot going on with school and work, and although I struggled through it, I learned a lot. The biggest thing I learned is how amazing the temple is, and how much my testimony has grown in the short 3 months I've been endowed. I go to the temple every week, usually towards the end of the week yet Tuesday I kept getting a strong impression that I needed to go. I had a lot to get finished and 3 tests to start studying for yet the feeling kept coming to me throughout the day. Once I finally decided I would go on Tuesday and headed there, I found myself rushing and thinking I might not make the session in time. I know now how much the Lord wanted me there that day because I made it just as the session was starting and was able to make it in. Along with my busy week, I had also just been feeling off. Sometimes it's hard to understand why we feel the way we feel, but we just know that we're off. My testimony was strengthened so much as soon as I sat down in the temple. The 'off' feeling immediately left and I was overcome with comfort. I don't often have experiences like this so I was really blessed to have it happen at this time. Throughout the session I felt so happy and comforted.   Leaving the temple that day I felt such relief and so much better. I know that because I listened to those promptings to go Tuesday, the Lord was able to help me. Because I know that the Lord will direct, especially in his house, I know that the Lord will direct me there when I most need it. A scripture that goes along with this is Doctrine and Covenants 78:18 which says, "ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along". Reading this scripture this week gave me even more evidence that my Savior is aware of me. I know that as I strive to be of good cheer, despite life's challenges, my Savior truly will lead me to happiness. With this knowledge I am driven to live righteously so that he can guide me in the right way.

You too Can Walk on Water.

     Today's society makes it so easy to focus on our challenges in life. We hear so much talk about trials and difficulties in people's lives. Why does Heavenly Father allow us to suffer? Why are things hard for us? As kids we're taught to live a righteous life so that we are blessed. I can only imagine how often people doubt Christ and what they've been taught when they run into trials. People simply don't realize how blessed we truly are but focus so much on the negative.    
     How do we come out of this type of slump? I realize that there are completely real struggles with depression and other problems like this, and I pray for people that struggle with that. I know the Lord will help you in your struggles. Turn to him! But for the people who don't struggle with depression and such, but still feel confused and frustrated that the Lord lets difficult things happen to us, realize that it's only because he loves us. Maybe that sounds weird, but I know he lets us struggle because we learn so much more, and the impact of what we learn is so much greater when we are allowed to struggle. Allowed. Think of it as a blessing!
     Matthew 14:24-33 tells the story of Christ's disciples on the sea. They had been fishing on the sea for quite some time when a storm started to toss the ship among the waves. All the disciples were worried for their lives. Shortly, the disciples saw Christ coming towards them, walking on the sea. Seeing this frightened them and they cried out saying "it is a spirit!". Then the Lord called out saying "be of good cheer, it is I, be not afraid". Peter answered him and said, "Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water". The Lord then summoned Peter to come to him. Peter stepped out of the ship onto the water and walked on the water to go to Jesus. "But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid and beginning to sink, he cried saying, Lord, save me". I find this next part so amazing. The Lord immediately reaches out with his hand and catches Peter and asks him "didst thou doubt?".
     Christ could easily make things easy for us, but as a disciple of Christ, we have contrary winds. Christ loves us and who we are becoming much more then he wants us to have a simple and eased life. This is how it is when we sign up to be one of Christ's followers. We commit to struggle, with faith, knowing that he will reach out when we start to sink.
Something new I realized while studying this story, is that most people think less of Peter because he doubted and then started to sink, yet how great is it that he even stepped out of the boat. Do we have the faith to step out of the boat and walk on water when the Savior calls us? Are we willing to even take the first step? The first step to repentance for whatever we're struggling with. He knows the intentions of our hearts. If we turn to him trusting that he wants the best for us, he will catch us. Let that idea comfort you.
     Keep your eyes on Christ, not on the things keeping you from him or else you will sink. Peter started to sink when he noticed/focused on the winds and waves around him. He took his eyes off Jesus. Keep your eyes on the one who loves you the most.
Trust in him and walk on water.